Daycare

For the last year we have been blessed to have a friend who has watched W in her home.  It was the best situation we could ask for.  I felt so comfortable leaving him there and she even worked around my crazy and long work schedule.

Last month she had a job offer and decided to take it and we enrolled him in daycare a few blocks from my office. They didn't have any immediate openings so a friend of my friend (a former preschool teacher) offered to watch W until we could transition him (see my last blog entry for all the details).  Long story short today was W's first day at the new daycare.  It broke my heart to leave him somewhere new and unfamiliar all alone.  I wanted to scoop him  up and take him with me.  When I left he was perfectly fine, but looked at me with these big puppy dog eyes as if he were to say "Wait mom!  Where are you going? You forgot me!", but he didn't cry. 

At lunch time I went over to visit him, snuggle, and play.  We had a good 20 minutes of playtime before I had to go back to work.  This time when I left him he started screaming.  He totally broke my heart.  My poor little guy.  I know all this is for the best and it is good that he is being socialized, but it still hurts to know that if he falls and gets a boo-boo I won't be there to kiss it better.  I hate knowing that they probably won't pick up on his baby signing that I taught him.  They will not know that when he pats his belly he is really saying "Please" and when he says "der" it means he doesn't know the name for something, but wants it.

I think the worst part is I work until 7:30 on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday I have to be at work by 7:30am and I have an appointment right after work so his former nanny will be picking him up those days.  I'm going to feel totally disconnected from my little guy those days.

Deep breathes!